My grandma Elvira has a third grade education but she is wise beyond her years in traditional school. She is a graduate Suma Cum Laude from the University of Life, from the School of Hard Knocks. She has many quotes but one that she liked to say was my favorite "It does not cost you a penny to smile! :) I take that literally and people compliment me on the fact that I am always smiling. I find that smiling at everyone usually surprises them, delights them and then sometimes some people get a little suspicious of it...Oh well, it does not cost me a penny to smile, or to be nice.
FYI, that one can be harder for me than the smile part!
I liked the simplicity of her way of saying things. She used to bless me all the time. One day when I went to see her, she had a little red bag that smelled good and had rocks in it. She said "I want you to carry this with you all the time. There is a lot of jealousy surrounding you, and this will protect you." I was so touched by her gesture and at that time did not know where this jealousy was coming from. But she was right. It turns out that after she gave me that gift I began to notice a lot of the jealousy that I had been so confused by. Like why women did not want me around their boyfriends, husbands or even near them. Why women co-workers would be so mean. Before my grandma gave it a name, I thought there was something wrong with me. That changed later on when I got noticed by a photographer and then an agent. Suddenly I was surrounded with good looking people and I was the ordinary one! No more jealousy. Problem solved by Grandma!
My grandma was smart in so many ways. Another time that I went to see her, she wanted to make me some migas, hot chocolate, a peanut butter "sangwhich". I kept on saying no thank you, Grandma, I'm not hungry. "Mija, you're too skinny. You need to eat!" I was recently divorced at the young age of 26 and had two very small children. She sensed my depression and made me sit down to talk with her and my Aunt Birdie. I picked at the food as she talked and talked to me about my grandfather. I loved hearing about him and their life long love affair. I was focusing on her, the light coming into the kitchen alcove, the sounds of their voices but not to avail. I was a mess.
We went into her dining room and looked at old photos. She started to tell me about how my grandfather had to leave her to go pick fruit with his father and his brothers. She said "Mija, I would cry and cry for your grandfather to come home. Finally I told him he could not go the next time, that I needed him to stay here with me and the boys." She was trying to show me that loving, being in love and losing love was universal. She took my mind off my problems and suddenly I saw this little old lady as a young woman in love and missing her husband. As was I. When I left her home, she blessed me again and said when you want a man and want to keep a man, use perfume. "Always smell good around the one you love."
Years later on the day that I finally fell in love in again, I had a bottle of CK1 in my bag and every time I went to the ladie's room, I would freshen up with a tiny little spray at the base of my neck. It was a long day. I was driving a golf cart in a charity golf tournament with the man who would be my husband. It was a marathon 100 hole tourny. I was so glad my for grandmother's advice.
Just the other day, my daughter said to me, "I took your advice Mom and remember what you told me. To always smell good around a guy I like. It works every time!"
Oh Grandma, how wise you are....
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