Fathers, the Fourth and Family.

June 28th - Tuesday - Hot as Hell in Childress Texas (117 degrees)

Well, Father's day 2011 has passed, sister's birthday party a recent memory and now looking forward to the Fourth of July. I do believe my father had a grand ol time on Sunday the 19th. Although not all of his 8 showed up, half of us made it and we had enough fun and beer for us all! I and my brother Joel were the first to show up and I put on some Adele for my dad to listen to. I was impressed that he knew her name, he had read that she outsold Gaga....Ribs, potato salad and all the fixings made for a great meal but the the chemistry of us plus our spouses and children made an intoxicating atmosphere for my father. He is a lucky man to have the love of so many...
And then there was my sister's party last Friday night...wow, "Oh what a night..." I am proud to say I managed to NOT get thrown in the pool, however I did leave with cake frosting in my hair and a few fingertip bruises on my arm! I am a veteran at this kind of rough housing and I know when to strike and when to run!

Now I am making plans for The Fourth of July. It is one of my favorite holidays and we celebrate it every year in a big way. Many years we will stay in town, but we have celebrated the Fourth in The Colony, Carrollton, Addison, Canton, Galveston and Dallas. After 911, the City of Dallas did a huge fireworks display, one of the largest in the country and we were right there. We all rendezvoused at the factory in Oak Cliff and then drove to the banks of the Trinity River. It was one of my favorite family moments...as we all sat on the hoods of our cars, some in lawn chairs, drinking cold beer and eating hot tamales while the boom, boom, kaboom exploded over our heads. I stood on the roof of my  4runner and stretched my hands up in to the air, pretending that I was holding the fireworks. They were that close and that big! As the night time sky was lit up with the colors of the fireworks, we could see the thousands of people standing on the Trinity River bridge, all packed in like tiny ants milling about. There was complete silence among one of the biggest crowds ever to witness a fireworks show. Only the repetative explosions opening the night skies; we held our breath and exhaled as one body, one nation, under God.

This week is about us, America, about our freedom, our hard earned independence and our joy in reveling in it. So live it up, shoot your fireworks, eat your Apple pie, watermelons, hot dogs. Don't forget your hot tamales. Drink your cold beer and enjoy. We still live in the land of the free.

God Bless America!

Musicians, Mavericks and Marriage

If you really want to know, musicians are my favorite people. With the exception of athletes and brainy nerds, I would rather spend my time with a musician or actually listen to one. My mom tells me, music and art run on her side of the family and that all my relations in Mexico are Mariachis!  I fell seriously in love with music when I gave up Barbie dolls. My cousin Cindy and I would listen to our "records" and call in to the DJ to request our song. I still remember exactly where I was when I heard "Smells like Teen Spirit" When I graduated to Nirvana, things changed. I wanted live music, the stereo didn't cut it anymore. I was young and grunge was in. Suddenly going to a venue to see a band was back in.  I have seen hundreds of show, concerts have hired bands, demoed bands, had a TV show called NEW ENTERTAINMENT in college. Currently I'm hooked on Adele, John Mayer, and John Lee Hooker, and fascinated still by the greats, The Beatles, Vivaldi, John Coltrane, Al Green, Led Zeppelin, Beethoven, Billie Holiday, Stevie Wonder....way too many to name. I am listening to "Pink Moon" by Nick Drake while writing this blog.  
My favorite Mariachi song is the same as my maternal grandmother's..."Volver y Volver" . My love of music has come full circle, my son is a songwriter, composer and plays the guitar. We love Stevie Ray Vaughn, argue about who is better, Jimi Hendrix or SRV....I tell him it is the chicken and the egg all over again.  Music soothes the savage beast I used to say to him. Turn up the radio...

We are in the Championship, wow...how about them Mavericks?!.  Hey, I bet Cubanstein is on top of the world right now.  Dirk, just when I think I can't be impressed any more by your stoic fortitude, you up your game and play dead dog tired with a sinus infection and put up the winning shot. Bravo!

Marriage. We are tearing this institution apart these days.... Man if you don't want to settle down with one person, then don't tie the knot. Simple enough. Nobody is forcing you to stand up in front of God of and everyone and pledge your undying love to each other. No one has to get married to save a kingdom or provide for future heirs.  Yet we are making a mockery of it these days.
Is it really just the dress? Is it really just the batchelor party?  One exception is valid in my book. The shotgun wedding. If you make a baby, at least try to be married, for the kid's sake. If it doesn't work out then at least you tried.

I spend the entirety of my day waiting patiently until I can see his face, my husband that is. No matter how bad my day is going,no matter what stage our love affair and marriage is, when he walks through that day, I still feel that thrill...

I love you babe. Wild horses could'nt drag me away.

Family Tradition

"Hank, why do ya drink, hey,  why do you all smoke?"

Always liked that song. Liked the irreverent yet accepting tone of it. I understand it is a country song that some use as their personal drinking anthem. Not me, though. It is the words,

Family Tradition.

I'm involved in a family tradition that goes back 61 years and guess what, I took to it like a fish in the water. Almost ten years ago I thought it would be a great idea to be my own boss and at the same time be in the family business.

It seemed like it would be everything I could wish for. My advice, be real careful in what you wish for!

My father failed to tell me just how hard it would be. I think he kind of got tickled some times, watching me struggle. Almost like a senior does with the freshman class. A bit of family tradition hazing! But like the stubborn and prideful woman I am, I refused to give in and let him see me cry. At just about every juncture to this day; when the the tough gets going, I will sit down here in the shop, look at my grandfather's photo on the wall and say "Grandpa, please let me be good enough, please. I know I'm not half the woman my mother is, not a quarter of the woman your wife, my grandmother is, but please don't let me fail." "I don't want to give up." Please Grandpa, Please!"

TIme and time again, I have watched my neighbors businesses close, watched them get divorced, watch the bankruptcies, see them get sick and tired of it all. I also see the new fresh crop of hopeful entepreneurs come in with their swagger, their bluster. They are going to conquer the world. Watch out world! Here comes the new Donald Trump, the new Bill Gates, the new Ross Perot. The latest and greatest.....

Was I like that once upon a time? When did I manage to turn into a war hardened , grizzled old veteran? I wear my wounds with pride though, the gashes in my heart, my glaring mistakes, my one stubborn gray hair (circa 2005) my aching back.

But what I carry with me in my heart, in my head is even better. It is you. My beautiful customers, the wonderful people who find their way to my little "tamale hole"  You always lift me up when I start to wonder, is it really worth alI this?

Because I have watched you move into town, move out, have children, lose children, cancer, graduations, births, baptisms, weddings, divorces, rehab, job loss, suicides, murder. (Yes, I do have a current customer who spent 30 years in the pen for killing a man who hit his father) He likes our flour tortillas! I give him my day old ones for a dollar a pack, since he has no income and lives with his mother. I have been through a lot with you all. 

As Mastercard says ~ "Priceless". 

I am like a thread woven into the fabric of your daily life. Just one small thread, but still there.

Yeah we all like the latest and greatest, the shiny, the new but we all still need that  "Family Tradition".

It does'nt cost you a Penny to smile!

My grandma Elvira has a third grade education but she is wise beyond her years in traditional school. She is a graduate Suma Cum Laude from the University of Life, from the School of Hard Knocks. She has many quotes but one that she liked to say was my favorite "It does not cost you a penny to smile! :) I take that literally and people compliment me on the fact that I am always smiling. I find that smiling at everyone usually surprises them, delights them and then sometimes some people get a little suspicious of it...Oh well, it does not cost me a penny to smile, or to be nice.

FYI, that one can be harder for me than the smile part!   

I liked the simplicity of her way of saying things. She used to bless me all the time. One day when I went to see her, she had a little red bag that smelled good and had rocks in it. She said "I want you to carry this with you all the time. There is a lot of jealousy surrounding you, and this will protect you." I was so touched by her gesture and at that time did not know where this jealousy was coming from. But she was right. It turns out that after she gave me that gift I began to notice a lot of the jealousy that I had been so confused by. Like why women did not want me around their boyfriends, husbands or even near them. Why women co-workers would be so mean. Before my grandma gave it a name, I thought there was something wrong with me. That changed later on when I got noticed by a photographer and then an agent. Suddenly I was surrounded with good looking people and I was the ordinary one! No more jealousy. Problem solved by Grandma!

My grandma was smart in so many ways. Another time that I went to see her, she wanted to make me some migas, hot chocolate, a peanut butter "sangwhich".  I kept on saying no thank you, Grandma, I'm not hungry. "Mija, you're too skinny. You need to eat!" I was recently divorced at the young age of 26 and had two very small children. She sensed my depression and made me sit down to talk with her and my Aunt Birdie. I picked at the food as she talked and talked to me about my grandfather. I loved hearing about him and their life long love affair. I was focusing on her, the light coming into the kitchen alcove, the sounds of their voices but not to avail. I was a mess.

We went into her dining room and looked at old photos. She started to tell me about how my grandfather had to leave her to go pick fruit with his father and his brothers. She said "Mija, I would cry and cry for your grandfather to come home. Finally I told him he could not go the next time, that I needed him to stay here with me and the boys." She was trying to show me that loving, being in love and losing love was universal. She took my mind off my problems and suddenly I saw this little old lady as a young woman in love and missing her husband.  As was I. When I left her home, she blessed me again and said when you want a man and want to keep a man, use perfume. "Always smell good around the one you love."

Years later on the day that I finally fell in love in again, I had a bottle of CK1 in my bag and every time I went to the ladie's room, I would freshen up with a tiny little spray at the base of my neck. It was a long day. I was driving a golf cart in a charity golf tournament with the man who would be my husband. It was a marathon 100 hole tourny. I was so glad my for grandmother's advice.

Just the other day, my daughter said to me, "I took your advice Mom and remember what you told me. To always smell good around a guy I like. It works every time!"

Oh Grandma, how wise you are....

Good bye Oprah!

All things Oprah.  I have watched her consistentIy for 25 years. Cried with her, laughed with her, evolved with her. And yes I had awful 80's hair too!
I follow her on Facebook now, and have recorded her last season. I watch them on Mondays, my day off.
Today, I am going to share a bitter moment I had because of the woman I so admire. I damn near came to tears when  I found out on a Sunday night newscast that the Oprah Show was coming to the State Fair of Texas. Only one big problem to keep me from being there. I had a delivery to make that same day, same time and on the complete other side of town. Almost Ft. Worth. 
SuddenIy, I was in the midst of a crisis. Not because I could not decide what to do, ditch the delivery or not ditch the delivery, rather because I was so mad at this predicament I was in.
I was mad at being my own boss! Here I was on my day off, making a delivery that was not even worth the price of gas and the time to help someone out.

If it had not been for this very sweet and loyal customer whose name was Hope, I would have been even angrier. She had helped me out when I needed it.  And this was a fundraiser. Plus, Hope was in the Texas Armed Guard and had to leave the order details with someone while she was down on the coast helping with evacs. No way could I ditch this woman!

To deal with the anger, I did what I typically do, block it out. All day long, however I simmered with anger, all day long I was on the verge of tears. Here was my idol, my TV BFF in my home town taping her show and I had to miss out! 
I tried to retail therapy, tried exercise. Still no relief. I decided to let it go as best I could. Late that night while taking out the trash, I could hold it in no longer. I sat heavily on the bumper of my truck and began to cry. My shoulders shook as I cursed my bad luck and my awful timing, which still plagues me to this day.
All of sudden , my son was there. "Mom what's wrong?" I heard the worry in his voice, the concern. How could I tell him? 

I struggled to tell him that missing the Oprah show, a once in a lfetime opportunity was like watching my life pass me by. That this moment would never happen again. I suddenly realized why I was so upset. Missing that opporunity had reopened the wound. My eternal wound of what coulda, shoulda or woulda been had I not married so young and had my children so young. Here was my son, my grown up handsome musician son and he was there wondering why his mom was outside crying after 10:30 at night.

My truth above all policy kicked in and I struggled to tell him gently what was bothering me. I saw the confusion in his face, saw him try to make sense of what I was jabbering about. I was glad that I was so upset that I could not talk coherently because I could have hurt his feelings.
"Mom, it's just a TV show, it's not that important, go in and go to bed, Mom."

He was right in a far more fundamental and wise way than I could see at that moment, the fact that I missed that show taping was really not that important.

But he was wrong about it just being a TV show.  

Oprah, we are all gonna miss ya, girl. Thanks for helping shape this Texas woman, mother, wife, artist, writer, small business owner and community activist. Thanks for entertaining me, guiding me, informing me but most of all, I thank you for giving me permission to be what ever the hell I wanted to be. And you did that by example.

Vaya con Dios......We love you.

Let's Talk Tamales .....Tales from a Tamale Lady

If you've read my first blog, then you know I love New Mexico. For me, the Land of Enchantment is my get away, my dash to serenity. My bundled up nerves start to unwind and unravel after we pass Amarillo. Tucumcari Tonight, as the road signs entice the weary traveler to stop and rest there. My husband always pushes on to Sante Fe. He's in a hurry too, because he knows how happy it makes me to see this city again.

But, I digress...it's Tamales we are talking about here.  Best Tamales in New Mexico were this year's. Leaving Santa Fe, headed to Taos, we are just outside of Espanola about to wind our way up and climb the last little piece of mountain before the gorge. That is the Rio Grande Gorge I am talking about. It is fourish in the afternoon and the rush is to get to town before the sun sets and the cold makes your bones brittle. 

I see a yellow, then a hot pink poster board stuck on the side of the road. The frst one says "Hot", the second says "fresh" and my husband in his rush plows ahead. "Wait" I grab his arm....."turrn around". "I said  "Tamales!" my husband said "where?!"
"Back there, turn around honey! " We turn around, the five of us packed in tight with the luggage our many coats, gloves and scarves and the family dog, and saw that I was right! The third sign had somehow turned backwards and it did indeed say Tamales.

We pull up on the side of the road, a pinion wood fire burning, children running in and around the temporary tent that he had set up as his Tamale Headquarters.  The Latino man with the rosy cheeks was smiling as he informed us that he only had a dozen red Pork and a half dozen green Chicken left for the day. My husband said "we'll take all that you got left'"

He of course asked us where we were from. I guess my country girl Texas accent  gave us away. We pulled out out and immediately dove into the zip lock bag and I passed the still steaming tamales around our SUV. I guess being cold made those tamales taste just that much better! Yes sir, they were some darn good tamales. I am real glad that guy is all the way up near Taos. He would give Dallas Tortilla and Tamale Factory a good run for our money!

Lucky Luna the Labrador from Lewisville made the 2010 New Mexico Run and yes she did have some Tamales!

Go Mavericks!

A quick and fun recipe for game night. Tamale Pie. What with the Dallas Mav's in the playoffs and baseball season in full gear, Tamale Pie is easy and delicious, perfect for game night with the fam or the friends! Here is your recipe: Let's Go Mavericks!

Ingredients:

A dozen Tamales from Dallas Tortilla & Tamale Factory
1 bag Dallas Tortilla & Tamale Factory Chips
1 red or green salsa from of course, Dallas Tortilla
1 8oz can of Rotel or a cup fresh cut tomatoes 
1 stick Velveeta Cheese or Rico Can Cheese ( 8-10 oz)
Jar of jalapenos

I use plastic Nacho Boats but you can substitute bowels or paper plates.

Shuck the tamales and break into pieces of 2-3. Put aside in bowel. Put a blanket of chips on the bottom of your container. Spoon a bit of cheese on the chips, add several pieces of the tamale. Drizzle more cheese, then a smaller drizzle of salsa ( Your choice red or green)
I prefer red. Top with tomatoes and jalapenos.

I prefer the Rico Cheese since the Velveeta sticks, does not heat as well and hardens up too fast!

Makes 8-15 servings.

Total Cost : $23.50

Cheap enough to afford some beer to go with!

A good meal on game night. Priceless